3 Ways To Overcome Adversities And Turn Them Into Positive Energy
A few of my buddies are facing tough times in 2020 and it sucks to see them this way. These are individuals who can move mountains — they’re truly incredible people. I reassure them every way that I can, but then I give them the tough love: you must embrace the adversity.
Some of my buddies don’t like it or are indifferent towards what I say about the issues they’ve encountered, and believe me — I have not experienced every single one of these challenges. Some are the hardest that I have ever experienced or witnessed, and I absolutely feel for them.
Yet, I made this post to tell you guys that the only way through it is THROUGH IT. I’ve had to embrace some hard challenges when I was laid off, when I was bullied, and when I lost friends due to suicides & diseases.
These three ways are how I have turned my adversities into more positive and productive energy.
Let’s get after them!
I. The Pain Is The Purpose
Throughout my Mental Health for men blog, Fullmetal Mind, I talk about your pain being your purpose in life.
Where you struggle, you find avenues to ease the pain for others so that they don’t have to experience the same things you have. When it came to myself, I had trouble with self-esteem and being overweight. Everything that I was ended up funneling outside. My body language, laziness, and weight told it all. I never felt good about myself.
I don’t want others to feel this way, whether they’re skinny or overweight. The depression and the suffering I felt should never be experienced by others. This is why I channeled it into my purpose in creating Reforged — my mind and body performance-based fitness brand.
Seek your pains and turn them into your purpose in life. Some of us had challenging childhoods or traumatic experiences. Sometimes people turn these bad experiences into something that makes them better. There are plenty of entrepreneurs in the space that were incarcerated or drug addicts who overcame and channeled their energy into something greater.
Seek your purpose through the pain, and work towards helping others overcome theirs. While not everyone will face your challenges — some have similar stories.
Do it for them.
II. Work With A Tribe Under A Common Goal
A lot of us tend to socialize and bond more when it comes to activities or work. I tend to have my most meaningful conversations when I work, workout, or even play sports with other people.
Whenever I feel down, I look to work with others towards a common goal or task so that I can turn my frustrations, anger, or sadness into something I can be proud of.
Remember that the lone wolf game doesn’t work here, and sometimes us men gotta stick together. Whether you’re introverted or not, find your tribe and work towards something with them. This is more meaningful than ruminating on the adversities we face.
Channel that bad energy or adversity into an opportunity to do great things.
III. Realize That The Obstacle Is The Way
In Ryan Holiday’s book of the same name — The Obstacle Is The Way.
Whatever adversities or challenges you face, that obstacle must be embraced. Back in 2018, I applied for MANY managerial positions at different branches at my old job. 13 times to be precise. Yes, the big unlucky 13. Each time, there was a new explanation as to why I didn’t get it, and how I embraced the obstacles:
- “Your sales numbers aren’t up.” — I became one of the top 5 salespeople.
- “You should’ve said *this*, instead of *this*” — I changed my interview strategy.
- “You didn’t talk about *this*” — I talked about it.
- “You weren’t convincing enough” — I started to work on selling myself.
- “I couldn’t understand where you were going with *this*” — I learned to articulate better.
- “It seemed like you weren’t interested” — I started calling the locations I interviewed for to learn everything they need and what they need help with.
- “You had promising ideas, but the person we chose had better _____” — I learned whatever I could to ensure this would never happen again.
- Some of these were repeated verbatim — telling me that each of the head managers spoke with one another and used the same verbiage. This frustrated me at first because I felt like I was getting played — but I decided to make it a game of how to become a better interviewer, articulator, and speaker.
They’re starting to run out of options for managerial positions, so you’re eventually gonna get the job.
- One of my favorite managers ever
Now I can argue all day about how it was a matter of “fit” and how “political” the job structure was… but in reality, I used the opportunity to become an incredible interviewer. I was given the opportunity to become better at speaking, articulation, coming up with incredible plans on the fly, and more.
At first, I was pissed. I was angry (my managers could attest to this and my bad attitude)… until I realized something: this obstacle an opportunity to become the best I possibly can, to never give up — to show people that I mean business.
I made it my purpose to be the best damn manager for the person that promoted me. The letter of recommendation I received upon leaving the company tells everyone what they need to know about my work ethic. It’s something I can be proud of.
Your Perception Is Everything
When an obstacle hits you — weigh out every option. How will you recover from this? What can you do better to redeem yourself for the next time?
Your attitude and perception are everything for it. It’s easy to get frustrated, to get angry, to think you were the better interviewer.
It’s harder to say — maybe I wasn’t good enough. Maybe I didn’t do enough. Maybe I slacked off where they didn’t. I should use this time — this opportunity — to attack this obstacle and crush it.
Don’t avoid it. Don’t hide from it. Run towards it, or even come at it in a new direction.
Think about the battles and wars that have been won by turning the obstacle into an opportunity. There are hundreds.
Push Through
Whatever you’re facing right now — push through… turn that negative energy into positive energy.
Whenever you’re angry or stressed — let off some steam with exercise. Whenever you’re sad — turn it into creative energy in the form of poetry or an instrument. Whenever you’re in pain mentally — turn that pain into a purpose in life.
Work with people towards building something greater. Help others. Exercise with a group of friends, or communicate with them via a Discord chat — or interact on social media with your community. All of these little things make huge differences in tough times like these.
When it comes to frustrations and sadness, I have found more happiness in taking action towards something rather than ruminating about it. While there’s a time and place to mourn or let out your emotions… sometimes channeling it towards something greater is exactly what you need.
If you have any questions, comments, or insights, let me know below. Tell me what you use to channel your adversities into victories or positive energy. I would love to hear what you do.
Until next time, everyone — stand strong and vigilant. You are one hell of a warrior if you continue to fight through and better yourself.
