6 Lessons I Wish I Would’ve Learned In My Early 20s
It took me years to come to a realization of what I really should have done in my 20s… and three years of it was literally “dead time”.
I wasted three years of my life working 50–55 hours a week, mindlessly working for a paycheck with a job I hated — having no energy to do anything outside of work (except party)… instead of working towards exploring my 20s.
In this post, I wanted to give you 6 things I learned in my 20’s that changed my life. These lessons have significantly improved my wellbeing.
Let’s dive into this!
I. Experience What Life Has to Offer.
Our worlds have literally just started in our 20s. This is the beginning of our adult period — where our parents let off the reigns and allow us the opportunity to explore the world. In your 20s, now is the time to experience everything that life has to offer. A lot of us think that when I say this, I mean to say travel the world and enjoy it.
That could be an option for you.
Yet what I mean by this is experience what makes you feel good — and what feels natural to you. What you feel your calling is.
I wasted three years dedicated to one job that I absolutely hated, working overtime (50+ hours weekly)… all for the money. I should’ve explored other opportunities to see what truly made me happy.
Here’s the thing: you’re constantly building experience from these jobs. If you build expertise in a job, get promoted, and no longer like it, there are plenty of others hiring. There is so much opportunity out there.
Although some jobs will say they require 10 years of experience, sometimes you just need to build connections to get those jobs. Get to know well-established or well-connected people from the jobs you work at.
One interaction and having great character can change your life.
So many of us go through our college system to get a degree that designates us to find a job. In fact, most successful individuals today have finished college… but they didn’t stop there. They continued to experience various fields and interests until something else pulled them in their purpose or passion in life.
II. Create Content Consistently.
I am a huge fan of Content Creators or Streamers. Mainly because they create and craft their own stories for others to see. Most of the time, these people are in the same spot as you: going through college, trying to find their way.
When I would work overtime at my job, I started diving into content creation on social media. This led me closer and closer to what I always wanted to do with my life: to start my own business… which I ended up doing after building the courage to do so.
When I documented my journey towards building my business, it gave me more job opportunities than LinkedIn ever did.
When you talk about your journey of developing yourself on social media, you could potentially get some incredible opportunities.
This can be as simple as: “I’m documenting my journey of finding the best job opportunity for me. No matter how long it takes, I’m going to find my life’s purpose this way. Jump along for the ride.”
I am a HUGE advocate of leveraging social media for opportunities!
III. Find Mentors to Learn From.
In your 20s, I believe it’s a necessity to find mentors. Mentors guide you through the path of success — in fact, most have been there before.
Here are a few benefits to having mentors:
- They guide you through a path of success based on practical methods they’ve learned.
- They can help you save time on learning unnecessary things.
- Mentors can open your eyes to plenty of opportunities and ideas.
- Mentors will hold you accountable for your success.
This may go hand-in-hand with the second step: as you continue to document your journey, you will attract other social media influencers or content creators who are miles ahead of you. These individuals will take you under their wing, teaching you what they know.
If you can’t find physical mentors, follow experts on social media. Let them be your online mentor. From podcasts, to books, and other blog content… you can find an indirect mentor!
While it’s quite easy to get knowledge today… taking action is the determinant to success. If you can learn quicker through someone who’s already experienced years of trial and error, I would take that opportunity immediately.
IV. When Facing Adversity, Don’t Numb Yourself.
One of the things that helped me overcome my depression was realizing that it meant I wanted more out of my life, to attack my problems head-on instead of escaping them.
While I never went towards significant drug or alcohol consumption, I wasted my time by partying and binge-watching television shows WAY TOO frequently. This was my escape towards the hardships of life and in all honesty… I wish I embraced and pushed through those hardships.
No one wants to feel pain or suffering… but it is a necessary part of life. These emotions make us stronger, allowing us to develop mental toughness and the ability to not ruminate for too long over things we can’t control.
One of my friends lost his life to cancer at 23. It devastated me that I wasn’t there for him enough because I was too distracted over things I could not control in my own life… and I tried to escape through isolating myself.
Today, I dedicate every one of my workouts to him.
If you’re feeling some sort of anger, pain, frustration, or sadness… go exercise, engage in a hobby, or work towards something that makes you happy. Practice using that negative energy and redirecting that energy into a positive outlet. This allows you to build grit, your mental toughness muscle.
Your goal should be to make your life one that’s worth living, better than reality or Netflix shows you binge-watch or the video games that you play. While these things are enjoyable (I watch Anime and Netflix all the time), rely on them less.
If you’re finding yourself scrolling through Netflix because you’ve watched everything… you need to experience what life has to offer.
This usually tells me I need to get outside more.
In most of my 20s, I ran away or avoided some of the problems. Those problems eventually escalated or festered, and I wasted more time recovering from them. Today, when there’s an immediate issue or adversity that depresses or angers me… I run towards the obstacle.
The obstacle is the way.
“You’ve Changed.”
When you start doing these things, some of your friends will notice. Some may tell you that “you’ve changed”. I’m sure you’ve heard it before.
This is ok. It’s better to change — we are meant for growth and development.
Your friends will eventually understand what you’re working towards as we all mature.
I see these YouTubers and their lifestyles are incredible. Instead of watching them constantly, work towards LIVING those lifestyles.
V. Work On Yourself
In our 20s, we believe we need to get our life together… but we literally JUST started.
Focus on experiencing life, building confidence through expertise. Experience every job or career interest until you find something that you believe you have a calling for. Your gut feeling will tell you what it is.
Think of yourself as the underdog striving towards success. When you find something you have an interest in, realize it may take years before you can successfully be where you want to be. Don’t rush things to “impress others”. Focus on improving you — physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Sometimes it’s important to build experiences before jumping to a big entrepreneurial venture or opportunity. Your favorite influencers started along the same path but also worked towards developing a brand around themselves.
Life is hard, but well worth it if you improve yourself along the way.
VI. Train Yourself To See Through The Lens of Optimism.
2020 is a hard year to see optimism in the loudness of negativity and what it seems like Y2K20. When I tell people that there’s good eventually from this, they look at me crazy.
Time will tell… but let’s talk about what you can do about building an optimistic perspective, a powerful skill to have in your arsenal.
On Optimism and Working Part-Time
When I was going through college, I worked a part-time job… and I dealt with some pretty bad people. Since I saw angry and crazy people most of the time, this was my only frame.
It constantly ruined my day.
We need to realize that these are people YOU DON’T WANT TO BECOME. They’re going through the rough stuff, so they decide to take it out on other people. This is weak.
Do not fight fire with them… this makes you become them. Flip that sh**. Your goal is not to be bothered by the things they do… kill them with kindness. It’s a cheesy saying, but I listen to what the customer is feeling. If it’s something as simple as a coupon deal, I will give them that deal so they can leave.
Fun tip: as a manager I jokingly told my employees your goal is to make them shut up about their complaints and fix their problems as fast as possible.
I’ve done this in a matter of 3 seconds by smiling and saying “I’ll fix this — easy”.
Still hold this record today.
On Life and Social Media
Life gives you a reality that a lot of people are unhappy… and this is sadly true. I see a lot of this on social media today in 2020, riddled with vengeance, insecurities, hate, and unhappiness. This breeds so much division, and it pains me to see it.
Remember that what you see on social media is only one perspective of the truth. I remember there was a time where I would get so much political toxicity on social media and it ruined my mood. Once I started following more personal development and optimistic content, my whole mindset shifted.
There is so much good stuff going around you — You just need to find it or be the change yourself.
Make it your duty to brighten people’s days up — don’t let it consume you.
Final Words
Of these six things, I learned after my “quarter-life crisis” at 25… I realized that I’ve got a long way to go.
There’s a lot of wisdom and experience to gather. Instead of being disheartened and overwhelmed with it, now that I just started my second quarter… the warm-up is over.
Now it’s time to make some sh** happen. To work towards making this world a better place. My mission is to make the world healthier and happier through exercise, fitness, and mental health. If you don’t have yours, start looking.
We all are here for a reason. Make your dreams a reality.
Go get you some.
